March 2010
Dear Friends,
What’s going on in your world? Have you seen and experienced the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living? Or have you been swallowed up by the darkness? Have you ever found yourself walking in the darkness when you can have full access to the Light? My world has felt crazy for the last few weeks. Last month, right before distribution week, I discovered that someone had hacked into our personal checking account and stolen money. The bank proceeded to put our checking account on hold for the next 16 days due to the fraud attempt. During that time, we had bills due that bounced as the bank would not release the money in our account. We received disconnect warnings and late fee notices and demands for cashier checks. I was annoyed, a little put out, but praising God our mortgage payments had cleared.
We were told we had to open another bank account and that we could only be given one box of free checks when we still had 3 ½ purchased boxes that we now could not use. Ok, now I am mad because I cannot stand wasting money. Hurry to mail all my bills so they arrive by the due dates, send letters and cashier checks to many, spend time on the phone explaining what happened. I think it is over. Nope, I receive an email that seems suspicious. Call the bank, yep, you guessed it. Someone tried to steal money out of our new banking account, another hold has been placed on the new account so no money can be released from our account to pay bills, our mortgage payments are mailed, but will not clear. I am freaking out at this point. I have turned into a psychopath. I am yelling at everyone at the bank, I am demanding my bills get paid, I am saying I do not want my credit damaged because the mortgage companies cannot get their money. I am starting to worry about what-ifs. My mind has gone nuts. Nothing seems to be working out. The bank says they will catch the mortgage company checks trying to clear and they will force pay them. They miss it and return the payments as non-paid. What in the world?? At this point, several friends know what is going on as I have allowed myself to get so worked up that you cannot help but notice.
God sends a friend that offers to check my computer and clean it from any viruses. It takes him two days as my computer is so contaminated. He gives all this work to us as a gift. I am thankful. Jason keeps telling me to relax, it will work out. One night in the midst of it all, after grumbling and complaining, I just beg God to show me what I am missing. Why do we have to live under constant attack? Why is this happening to us? Do you ever just find yourself with a case of the poor pitiful me? God brought me to 1 John 1:5 “God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.” I immediately began confessing my sins to God. I was living in the darkness. Self-pity, discouragement, panic, freaking out is not from Him. Then verse 6 says, “If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.” So, I am a liar. For a few days I was walking in the darkness of what-ifs and ‘oh crud’ and help me now. When every day, God was there and I could have chosen to walk in the truth. He was not leaving or forsaking us. He has a plan. He can work out all the late fees, bounced checks, and holds on the account. Today I am ok. The darkness I was walking in was my own foolishness. I can trust Him for today and then tomorrow I can trust Him for tomorrow and then the next day, when we get there, I can trust Him for that day. “But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.” I walked around all crabby and ticked off for no good reason. The truth is I did not have to live in the darkness of my sin. When Jesus died for our sin, He gave us direct access to the Light. I chose to have faith in Jesus when I was five years old, so from that day forward I have had full access to the Light. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins (shame, guilt, fear, lust, addiction, self-sufficiency, self-pity, bitterness, whatever) He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Jesus came to speak to the Father on our behalf. He came as a sacrifice for all the sins we have committed and will commit. Jesus came to make us right before God.
If you find yourself walking in even a trace of darkness, jump out into the Light. God wants us to walk with Him. In the darkness we are alone and we get scared, worked up and make dumb choices. In the Light, God allows us to see life as it really is and to trust Him in the journey. He loves us and He wants us to live in relationship with Him. If we confess our sins, He is so faithful and just. He forgives and He makes us right. Consider 1 John 2:5 “But if anyone obeys His word, God’s love is truly made complete in Him. This is how we know we are in Him: Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did.” So let us walk like Jesus and stay out in the LIGHT.
In closing, I was reading a book recently that explains God will make a way. Dr. Henry Cloud put it this way, “God’s WAY is His providing what we cannot provide for ourselves.” Smile. We are free when we quit trying to provide and take God up on the adventure of walking with Him. If you do not know Him, pray and let the Lord know you want a friendship with Him. Confess your sins and start walking in the Light. And when you have bang ups and hang ups, and you will as a Christ follower, just tell the truth to our Father and jump back into the Light. He wants to hang with us and forgive us. His love is BIG!
By the way, I did call the sweet bank manager and apologize and eventually our mortgages got paid and we have now moved on… to our third account. All the fees were waived and I really feel silly to have acted a fool. If someone hacks into our account today, I am trusting God will keep us walking in the Light and trusting Him to provide. Psalm 27:13-14 “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”
Living for His glory,
Jenny Waltman
Hebrews 13:16 “And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God