Email received from a volunteer:
“Alright prayer warriors, put on your seatbelts…
I talked to my community friend last night for over half an hour. It was SO good to finally talk to her. To make a very long story short, she has been through a lot the last several weeks. I can’t even begin to capture it all for you but there’s been family drama (not unusual but still very hurtful) and her sweet 8-year-old has been struggling with the absence of her father. Although my friend didn’t make excuses or say this directly it was very clear to me that the first Wednesday when she stood me up because she “was sick in bed for two days” was actually a period of depression. It sounded like she just shut down and withdrew from everyone and everything (hence not coming to the door or answering the phone). The second week was not just a meeting at school but an emergency meeting with her child’s school counselor because the child was struggling so much emotionally, asking things like “Why doesn’t my daddy love me? Am I not good enough? Am I not pretty enough? Why won’t he see me?” My friend shared that the child had started having rages and even implied that this young child had threatened to hurt herself. No wonder a trip to ChickfilA was not her first priority.
So I decided to go by myself to take her food box this morning. We sat on her couch and I tearfully apologized to her for not being there for her these past few weeks (which she graciously assured me wasn’t my fault) and I told her that even though I had no idea what she had been going through, God knew and He had been waking me up to pray for her. She cried, so naturally I cried some more.
I then confessed to her that as much as I cared for her and her children and would do anything for them, I regretted that I had not been more intentional about asking her about her relationship with Jesus. I opened my Bible and got ready to read it to her, when she scooted near me so she could read along with me. It shocked me but was so cool to see her really caring about what I was sharing with her. We read the passage where Jesus says not everyone who says “Lord, Lord” will be in heaven and we talked about how Jesus says that to truly be saved, He must KNOW us…we must KNOW Him and have a personal relationship with Him. I shared that I had spent most of my life thinking that because I had prayed a prayer and been baptized I was saved and it wasn’t until recently that God opened my eyes to see that He desires a close relationship with me. She never broke eye contact with me as I talked. I shared more and when I stopped she just looked at me and cried and said “I’m so lost. I’m just so lost.”
She said that her parents never took her to church but her grandmother took her as she was able. She said “I just don’t know anything but I want to know. I have a Bible and I try to read it but it’s hard to understand by myself. I want to understand.” She said since her grandmother died two years ago, she’s just been lost without anyone to really teach her and she’s worried about what to teach her children. So I said “what if we did this together? What if we got together and read and studied together? I can come here and we just sit here on your couch and walk through it together”. She agreed! I also invited her to church. Her child has been coming with us and I hope and pray she will come. My guess is she is scared and uncomfortable so if I don’t want to overwhelm her but I’ll just keep offering.
Is this not AMAZING? Can you believe how faithful our God is? How He had prepared her heart? It’s like a movie or a dream. Oh gosh I cried all the way home. I begged God to forgive me of my pride and selfishness in thinking that she should’ve met me on my terms, in my timing. It also struck me on the way home that her grandmother died two years ago. God added her to our route two years ago. I wept as I thought of the time I’ve wasted and how she’s floundered without anyone to walk with her. My husband reminded me that beating myself up over the past is not from the Lord but I do pray He will continue to give me a sense of urgency. I don’t ever want to waste time like that again!!
So here I am crying again. I just cannot believe how little my faith is and how big my God is. Thank you thank you thank you for praying for my friend’s heart. God heard your prayers!! Please continue to pray. I have no doubt that it will be a battle for us to meet regularly but I will not give up.”
Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.”