For so many years, my heart did not understand or value giving as a lifestyle. I grew up knowing the importance of tithing, but I probably gave money more out of obligation than love. If we give our tithe we are fulfilling those verses in Malachi 3:10-12 that teach us to bring all the tithes into the storehouse and see what God will do. The motives of a heart are a messy thing that we like to hide from everyone, even ourselves, so we do not feel vulnerable and exposed. Is our giving under the law or under grace?
Another memory I have is giving gifts to little kids at Christmas. My giving was probably more for me than for those kids. It felt good to give and I could convince myself I had done something nice (and above the tithe) that would carry me with some “feel good” to the next emotion driven opportunity.
Looking back, I believe I did want to be a generous giver, but I did not know giving was more than spending money. My mom used her gift of cooking to share meals with widows and host parties for nursing home residents and the senior adults in our church. So many times, people would be scattered through my childhood home eating fresh veggies, laughing and talking. Listening to all those old people reminisce was so fun to me because I could learn so much. I never realized as an eight year old that listening was giving.
For years, we invited people over to our home for a meal. My mom had shown me that food and fellowship speaks to the hearts of people. We did what we had been taught.
My grandmother’s door was always unlocked and anyone would sleep over. It was normal for friends of friends to come for dinner and a bed. We watched my grandmother live with an open door, so an open door seems normal to me. Anyone is welcome in an extra bed or on the couch. Our fridge is ready to be opened to feed the next person.
What did we have to give? Our money was little, but our hearts felt big. How could we give? It felt so disappointing and frustrating that we did not have money to help with this need or that need.
At some point, God reminded me that Jesus came to turn the old covenant upside down. Where we were called to bring the tithe, Jesus came and challenged us to bring our lives. Where the law said 10%, Jesus said give everything. What does a lifestyle of giving look like? Is there more than money in a basket on Sunday?
One of the first creative ways that God showed me to give was to donate my hair. I cannot remember how I learned of the idea, but I remember realizing… “I can grow out my hair and give it away. How hard can that be?” So began a cycle of growing my hair, cutting it off, giving it away and growing my hair out again.
One reason I love to donate my hair is it takes time and perseverance. Hair takes awhile to grow so it is not immediate gratification. Hair growth is waiting on God to prepare the gift. Another reason I love it is I never know who it helps so the gift cannot become about me. Never will I see a cancer patient running around with a wig and think, “there goes my hair.” Rather, it’s a gift that goes where God wants it to go and is an offering to God. I do not earn anything by donating my hair. I do not receive accolades or thank you’s. A third lesson in cutting my hair is letting go. My hair is not for me, but for someone I do not know. Often my friends or a stranger cut my hair and I have to trust them. When inches of my hair disappear, I look different and that has to be ok. My identity is not in how cute or not cute my hair looks.
As we begin to pray about a lifestyle of giving, God shows creative ways for us to give our lives away. We can give money, and we should, but we can also give so much more.
Looking back, the attributes of my family taught me to give friendship, food, shelter and listening ears.
Today, God is teaching me to give in more than donated hair. God is teaching me to love people that may not love me back, to give patience, to pray for others, to share my clothing and my time.
God is teaching me the lifestyle of giving, a journey of worshipping Him in big gifts and little ones. He is showing me how He delights in the gifts no one sees and in the gifts that cost my sacrifice. His creativity is in me and gives me new and beautiful ideas of how to give as a lifestyle. He teaches me to keep my hands open and to hold light to things that fade.
“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” – Luke 6:38